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Members of the clergy can also be a good resource during this time. Banning someone from attending a funeral is not to be taken lightly—and it’s a decision that, once it is over, can never be undone. Make sure your motivations are pure before you do anything this drastic, and always consult with other relevant members of the family first. After reading the circumstances again, due to the threat of violence etc, it may be worth trying to get a restraining order on this guy, that way he definitely can’t attend!
In an ideal world, you would be able to have a civil conversation with the person you feel shouldn’t attend the actual funeral and solve all your worries before the day. If you have a very good reason to request that they don’t attend then you might want to just explain it to them. Dropping a feud for a funeral is hugely important. Every family has its disagreements, some more serious than others, but when it comes to saying a final goodbye to a loved one, there should be no. David bowie also chose not to have a funeral. However, families and friends can come to watch the coffin's procession. They can touch it and request music to be played. One woman who attended. Generally, a protective order prohibits contact between the parties named in the order, as well as prohibiting entry to identified locations.
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